My First Al-Anon Meeting

What is Al-Anon?

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“Al‑Anon is a mutual support program for people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. By sharing common experiences and applying the Al-Anon principles, families and friends of alcoholics can bring positive changes to their individual situations, whether or not the alcoholic admits the existence of a drinking problem or seeks help.” ~ www.Al-anon.org

It had been recommended and I had considered going to an Al-Anon meeting for a couple of years. I had researched meeting locations and times and had probably created excuses up until this point why it hadn’t been “convenient” to go. I guess the day you have to call the police on your parent, things shift into a more desperate perspective. I needed to take a step to do SOMETHING, I had to begin healing what was broken. The years of emotional damage this had taken on me was now so apparent, I knew

I needed help greater than my own strength to deal with it. I went back on-line, found a meeting time and location that was “convenient” and put it in my calendar like any other important appointment. On November, 15, 2018 I nervously walked into a dimly lit classroom in an old church.

Coming to this meeting, I was seeking support, therapy, strength and understanding. I sat quietly as people trickled into the meeting. My mind was racing with thoughts like, “Who will be here?”; “What will I have to say or do?”; “Will I be judged”; “Will my father be judged?”; “Am I the only one dealing with this?” I would learn during that meeting that the answer to all of those questions was, “no”. There is a person who leads the meeting and helps guide the steps and conversation. When a lesson comes up, you are given the opportunity to speak and you are also given the opportunity to just listen. As I sat there, I listened to others share parts of their personal struggles. Tears seemed to rain down my face the entire meeting, every story struck a chord. What I learned, however, was that this disease seems to touch EVERYONE. I sat there as a lady described her homeless son and how she had lost him to addiction. I thought to myself, "Wait, someone else had a homeless family member? I’m not the only one?" An important part of an Al-Anon meeting is the reading of the Serenity Prayer. As a group, we read these words aloud. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.”

Amen.

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I had heard this prayer before, but hearing these words in this context gave them new meaning and new power for me. The serenity prayer is powerful for family members of alcoholics, it sets the ground work for understanding that I am not responsible for my father’s disease, decisions, choices, behavior. My life, my choices, my happiness and my success are mine to nurture, to do all I can to make the most of the life I’ve been given, to love and to grow. In order to be the best mom I can be to my son, I need to show him what healthy looks like, to show him what it looks like when a mother chooses to make her family her priority.

Admittedly, this was my first Al-Anon meeting and to-date it has been my last, but I gained so much from that one experience. That day showed me that I am not alone in this struggle and it taught me that my actions had been necessary and appropriate. I do expect I will attend a future meeting as my healing continues. I strongly recommend anyone who is struggling with a family member who suffers from addiction, please look to this resource for support.

#alcoholic, #homeless, #al-anon, #alcoholism, #addiction#supportforfamiliesofalcoholics